My happy place

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My happy place☺️! Im so grateful that I can enjoy those littles moments again. I remember this same time last year I was such in a bad place. I hated everything. It was one of the darkest and miserable moment of my life. After giving birth, I was so emotionally and physically drained. I was struggling with motherhood and post-partum depression. I deeply madly hated breastfeeding. I was seeing my new baby as a burden not as a blessing. Feeling like this is so taboo in our community cause I felt like I really was not normal and something was wrong with me. I hated it when people were telling me that I should feel lucky, they had no idea. My poor Ayub, I love him so much. He didnt deserve that. I remember loking at him when he was just a newborn and apologing to him, telling him how sorry I am for the way I am, that mom is sick because I couldnt hold him. I couldnt been there for him and do anything, my husband was doing everything. I’m forever grateful for this amazing husband and father. Emotional pain hurts more than physical pain, it’s invisible, deeper and last longer.  At that time, I did not know that  it was the cancer that was doing all this to me. Once I removed my thyroide, I got better. At least, mentally better, because living without thyroid is a heck of a journey. It takes time to heal. Im so glad and so grateful this is behind me hamdoulilah.

Thank you God. #alhamdulilah

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